My Writing for 'Growing out of Place' :

People always discuss outgrowing a relationship - a partner, a friend or even family, but I hear less discussion about outgrowing a place and what it feels like and what it means. How do you know if you’re just running away from your problems, or that your feelings that a place is hindering you is actually valid. Perhaps a reason why we don't really talk about place is that the actual concept of of place is quite abstract which is rather ironic as it’s just a physical location.

For some reason, I hold place to a very high value of importance and sentimentality - mainly because places hold memories and memories are shared between my brain and the people I had that moment with. As songs and music can elicit emotions of nostalgia or pain about people, places remind me of certain people and certain memories. And just like outgrowing a song, I believe you can also outgrow a place. One song might’ve reminded you of a person that you had a lot of beautiful memories with, but are not involved in your life any more, so listening back to that song reminds you of that person whether it be positive or negative associations. Therefore, you might choose to only listen to it every once in a while to reminisce.

I wonder if that is the same with place … where a certain place that you grew up with reminds you of your childhood and coming-of-age, but no longer can serve the purpose of an environment that can grow you. This place no longer holds the gravitas or importance that it once did in shaping who you are and will become - and like a song, you long to reminisce about the place and only visit it every once in awhile. And so I hold onto this feeling that my environment can no longer strengthen me as an individual, but I more or less attribute it to the fact that the places that watched me grow up are merely still in my own backyard. I've witnessed and felt the changes of these places before my very eyes and i cannot help but allow myself to feel nostalgic whilst being forced to recognise that this place now, is not how i once remembered it to be.

Places can change and the people that interact with a place is ever-changing. What has helped me understand my relationship with past places is trying to make new memories in these places with new people. Seeing the place grow and evolve and seeing the people enjoying the place at where its at, makes me feel at peace as well. I've shared these paths with so many people and all of these people could say something different if I ask them what their association is with this place.

Sometimes you grow out of a place but you need to stay for longer as It does not convene with the passage of time…. and just like a place can be suffocating, a place can also be healing. With every place you interact with, there is a transfer of energy. Homes get knocked down which carry years and years of moments and memories through different families residing there, and new places are built with brand new memories. So much of the city has stayed the same, but so much has changed. Some places have stayed exactly in tact, but the people won’t ever stay the same. People come, and people leave. And the people that remain like our own parents, have laughed, cried, and aged with us, in this place that we somehow call ‘home’.

But what I lack the most is my connection to place that is my actual home - where my family are, and where the people look like me and share my culture. But i feel so detached from it and from them, because I have been in THIS place my whole life. I have a longing to be in a place where my ancestors have lived for centuries, and to sustain the practices, customs and cultures that have been retained and practised.

And so I ask: when is it okay to grow out of a place? Is there a universal feeling that people feel when willingly leaving their home country to go to a new one? Or, is it just a feeling of wanderlust and to see where life takes you? But for now, I've changed rooms and stayed here and who knows where I'll be next time...